'i want to be a machine', said andy

warhol.

1. i aim to achieve that healthy balance between caring and not-caring (what others think). i think i'm really getting close, and it's a great feeling.
of course, you've got to keep the self-respect of Number One in-tact/order and at the top of the importance ladder, bc i don't think it's v good or healthy for anyone to compleeetely discard what others think..
(and most of the time, anyway, those who say that they strictly 'don't care what anyone thinks at all' are the ones who are most self-conscious. i find that really sad - the fact that certain people feel that they have to be so transparent and go to such defensive (wrong word, help me out ?) lengths just to reassure themselves..)
tame the shame and win the game !

and i've seen far too clearly - and ish even at times felt it myself, personally, - how damaging it can be to live your life by the idea/l/s of others only and of ~ society in general. some people are really really far too flexible, and live these fragile little breakable lives bc they strain for its entirety in trying to crack the barrier of the super high expectations of others..

i mean, come on..it's so far from worth it.

2. i'm really starting to appreciate this/the? mutual understanding of similar humour and general life views that offspring/s of teachers just seem to somehow collectively share. im beginning to become more observant toward a little unspoken bond via an unofficial Humour Appreciation Society or something similar that appears to be in awesome existance..its kind of like one of the rare good-qwol facebook groups that are stumbled upon every so often (but instead, of course, in person)..and i bloody love it, haha. i'm becoming more and more pro-teacher parents as the days pass..somewhat secretly. and i think that (secretly) my fellow teacher-kids/z out there are aswell. hellz YEAH edu.

3. lately i've been trying to get my head around how people can think that intelligence can be so easily measured..whether it be through a state-wide set QCS-like test or even just from conversation with someone - over time, or at initial acquaintance.
i don't know if you're born with 'intelligence' or if its a skin that can be grown into. i don't know how to measure or to really even understand this thing, and i try not to judge others at all on things like school grades or the vocab that they choose to use - it stretches so far beyond that, i think.

what i also do think, sortofmaybz, is that reading is one of the best things that can be done to uppen (?) this so-called knowledge.
a really good friend of my family that i got to know pretty fantastically well in the last couple of years had made it past what i have gathered to be his 80s or 90s. i found out after he left us that he had always wanted to be a doctor but didn't have the funds for that sort of job when he was younger. it broke my heart to find that out, because i thought he would have been perfect for the job - personality/intelligence-wise. i don't think that he had had as lengthy/in-depth an edu as most of us these days, and mainly just due to circumstance and general society/wealth back in his prime. bc of this, it had always surprised me that he seemed to always know so much about the world, and was just super observant/knowledgable.

i guess where i'm going with this is, that i think that reading as much as possible is what gives you the obvious broader vocab and that sort of thing, which in turn seems to also provide such a massive/huge-r/greater understanding of the world than that of someone who does not read much/at all.
this man-friend read on an emulate-able level. he was old and his sight was fading, or had indeed faded a fair chunk as it was, and even though he required something like a magnifying glass at one point, he still read. he did sudoku and puzzles similar to keep his mind whirring. when he grew too tired after reading for even fairly short spans of time, and/or had lost his sight even further, he listened to audio books. i find that so fantastic. a lot of people reach that age and sort of give up on learning. they sit and don't want to accept that the world is going to, and is, changing so much around them. they don't want to learn or to expand their knowledge - but he did. he kept going and going and going, and i loved him for it.

one set of audios that he particularly referenced to a lot was a set that a relative or close friend had told him about. it was a collection of semi-life philosophies involving a whole heap of different people who were of different ages and lifestyles. for eg., one person believed in barbecues. they believed that life should always involve them..because of the social side of things; they bring people together, they're places of happiness and of optimism - and often even celebration.
another believed in high-heels..because they accentuate a woman's feminine form, boost the self-esteem and empower the wearer.

you've really got to take in little lessons like this from other people around you when given the chance - emulate the ones you love !

i just love everything about reading - even the v idea of it. it makes you less naive, and more open-minded to the ideas of others and of the way that other people live their lives. and i think that's so so important - especially in today's society. its not even a matter of interest anymore; its just that you will not survive if you sit around and do not absorb what is going on around you/us.

i guess, mostly, literature and even news is so great bc it puts your feet on the ground. it makes you aware that you are a tiny speck in a giant's eye in the whole scheme of things. i'm not even sure if that's intimidating or scary, or a good thing.

there's a quote by eva mendes, of all people, that i really like. i can't rememeber it directly, i have it saved in my ipod upstairs..but it goes something like the following:
'the most sexual organ is the brain.. you don't have to be a scholar, just curious about the world.'
i really like the end part, especially. its something i mentally refer to often, i think its an important point to think about.

4. artificial intelligence is amazing. i don't know so much about it, but i think paul dempsey initally spurred my thoughts toward the topic. in qcs, the theme for our unseen written task turned out to be time, and one of the snippets of stimulus involved the turning back of time - and the sort of skin/physical rejuvanation that's getting around more and more as the years tick by. i had wanted to some how tie in artificial intell into that, but struggled and ended up sadly changing tact a little/lot.
in an interview, paul was talking about his song Ramona Was a Waitress - which speaks about artie intie a fair bit..a little cryptically if youre not entirely switched on to its topic or aware of his referencing.:

in his own words:
'it's about a guy arguing with an artificial-intelligent robot waitress about mortality..artificial intelligence and conscious robots arguing about the meaning of life.'
the name Ramona comes from a man by the name Ray Kurtzweil who is one of the foremost thinkers on artificial intelligence and what the future holds for technology. he has created a program called Ramona that's like an interactive person, and, as technology progresses, he's trying to build her up so she becomes more and more sophisticated in the hope that one day she will be essentially conscious.
'that's the point he's trying to make, that at some point in the future technology will be arguably conscious.
this guy Ray Kurzweil also goes on about how with the use of emerging technologies like nanotechnologies and stuff like that, human beings will be able to augment themselves and improve themselves to reverse the aging process. we will essentially merge with machines and will be able to prolong our life spans almost indefinitely. so the Ramona character in the song is sort of this trans-human woman who lives almost indefinitely. i thought it would be kind of funny if you were in that position but you were a waitress. i just wanted to make it something banal. this fascinating amazing idea of this potentially immortal artificial intelligence that can augment itself and improve itself and exist for however long..' but she's still just a waitress, you know ? like youre this super-human and yes you have endless life..but youre only a waitress. i found that such a funny little situation..really interesting.
'But life is still life and you still have to do something with life.'

some of my more favoured lyrics from the above:
she circles past, she fills your glass, but she don't recognise the song.
and once in a life time, she says..the waking life stitched together in your head.
and i don't need these arms anymore, i dont need this heart now to love.
i don't need this skin and bone at all.
and eyes like crystal balls that just won't shut up about the future of the future.
ramona was a waitress; all but made of information.
in a bar under the third bridge, she says she's looking forward to living forever.
(okay so that's actually most of the song, but but but..)

a funny little tweet that pd had sent during the making of the film clip for that song:
shooting video for ramona....size 13 dancing shoes on....understandably there is a lot of fear in the room.
;)

5. just when you think there are no new stories to be told, a new one manages to come along.

6. well i am the shape of a lonely soldier, oh, I am the shape of a single structure.
but even the bravest Lions, they need a sidekick.
i know that even the tallest kings, they need a sidekick.
everyone needs a Robin, no ?

7. a fair while ago now, there was an epic storyline for a dance on So You Think You Can Dance.
the moves and costumes etc on their own were pretty ordinary, but it was all about a man who was the last left on earth and an alien had come down to impregnate itself/or actually, maybe to do so to the human?. on 2nd thoughts, im not even sure who was doing what in that sitch haha but i thought it was so awesomely original. as if you'd even come up with that, ever. haha.

8. the Stromatolites in WA, i just rememebered them after having a dream the other night that they got all flooded over and lost forever. i was actually really really sad about that - theyre one of the oldest living things..on the whole earth.
my fam visited them in i think about 2000. even then i was amazed.
google them, theyre really ugly :).



again = length/uber punctuated. of course.

if the fact that my blemish cream went O.O.D. in '06 doesn't result in 7th degree burns, i'll be mildly satisfied with life

some words i've been enjoying lately:

- women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors.

- make the most of every day.

- don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody.

- the sun will rise..even if you don't happen to be there.

- sometimes it takes the worst to see people at their best.

- sorting things out isn't always easy.

- i sat there for some time, a man with more on his mind than in it.

- you're gonna make mistakes; you're young.

- obviously when the sun comes out, every bastard has a festival.

i'm livin it major, i'm livin it major

just some quick shots from the Selby that i had already uploaded into photobucket..it's playing up for me right now so i'll post the rest of my faves (of which there are maaany) soon when the uploading option is back and running for my account.






images via

the collection is mostly blue because he's colour blind and blue is one of the few colours he can see

hello, hello, hello, hi.

i've been waiting on official photos from the festival of fashn to drop into my hot little hands soon (via school ?, not sure) so i can post them here..if theyre ok.
but i really dont think that thats going to be happening any time soonskies.

so a while ago i was going to post some of my quick sketches/fashn illustrations here, but didnt want to until after the festival - assuming that i'd finish making them all before that night. no.
i ended up finishing some pieces for the red carpet section and another 2 for resort - all half-finished/half-arsed attempts which i didn't even like in the end which bothers me, just cos i ran out of time.
but oh well. i also lost a whole heap of study time bc of the hours i spent on fashn stuff, which is equally annoying..i dont think i did nearly as well in the last set of exams as i could have. or assignments. and theyre all so goddamn important right now.

but back to belated fashnfest review; i think my resort duo were in the ~wrong section, and i know this def mirrored the judges' opinions because it seemed that they considered resortwear to be strictly lycra/togs..
that did annoy me a tiny bit, but was expected. its funny though, bc resort collections at fashn weeks around the world (paris, ny, etc) have the occasional swimwear incorporated into the collection, but always include dresses/shorts etc and the whole summer 'look'. hm.
i was luckie enough to score a 'special mention' for my 'edwardian' get-ups though, which is kind of cool.
so here are some of my drawings from january '09 up until about june/july..when i got lazy:
originally i planned on doing a slouchy/drapey set of tops. i wanted them to be made of loose fabrics so they sat loosely but maybe with shoulder pads underneath for even more of an androgynous/boxy shape. just in muted colours or greys and blacks or something. its hard to explain the image in my head and this picture's actually quite terrible..one of my first sketches so its rough and horrible. and i guess fairly subconsciously yohji-inspired, accidentally, with the mesh incorporated and what have you.



this is image is also a little hard to decipher due to the dodgie picture quality, but i had wanted to do a set of three jackets, at the start of the year, to go with three dresses - all to go in as one entry in the after 5/red-carpet section. at that stage, that balmain collection hadn't been soo publicised, so the boxie zipped/studded/embellished jackets weren't at that stage so overdone and difficult to stomach. i'm now so far from enjoying the collection bc im so sick of seeing it done and re-done and in spreads in most magazines for months afterward.

the original plan for the dresses:


here is a version of the dresses that was closer to those that i ended up sewing. the colours at least..you can ignore the embarrassing descriptions beside each figure haha..that was just for the benefit of translation when i entered it into the illustration comp thingo..
and also for those who are unaware, i have a massive Sunday bun hair fetish. so thus the amy-winehouse-beehive ish buns times trois..

originally for the resort section i wanted to include a set of (again) slouchy draw-string dresses. i wanted three and for them to be made of similar fabrics/colours but to each differ slightly - ie. different sleeves or asymmetrical or drawstring used in different sections of each dress.
i struggled to find patterns that fitted the exact idea/s, obvz, but mum has a few big boxes of old patterns so i managed to mix and match to find patterns for the tops and bottoms of each.
i wanted to incorporate originally a sort of neon transparent fabric into each..but couldnt find anything like that in our one/two fabric store/s, of course. so i stuck with a steady range of whites and beiges with some black string. this idea let me use doilies which i had wanted to include in/make a dress out of for yonks..
ALTHOUGH doilies/doilie-esque fabric proved too expensive, so i just used a whole heap of different types of lace that i bought/had lying round from past mini-projects, curtain-making and art stuff for school.


this was a different unfinished tangent alltogether, but sort of had a similar idea to the transparent neon action that i was hoping for in the resort idea above.


i suppose this one was more of a wearable art piece, but i still wanted to enter it into the evening-wear section..in a mishmash-of-pretty-fabrics-and-fairly-muted-colours-but/so-still-wearable-with-confidence-rodarte sort of way..
i guess if i had included the antler/twiggie and/or bird-wing/feathered alexander mcqueen ish headpiece it would have tipped it over into more of a not-so ready-to-wear category..but as if i even started/finished it at all in the end D:
i guess i was still in a bit of a white/fluffie mood after my wearable art piece for school and so was still feeling the beige/gold/shades of ivory and white soft fabrics. i wanted to use a heap of different types of wool in those colours as well as transparent and floatie fabrics as weeell as some rougher more textured ones..but all in a feminine fairie sort of fashion. i guess. i dont know..the image in my head was ~relatively awesome haha..i can assure you.


i guess just a shorter, slightly modified equivalent of the one above..
god, none of these are even slightly identifiable.


here's a slightly similar set of three that i had quickly jotted down (i think there's something about me and threes ?) one afternoon in about 20 minutes.

this was going to be entered into streetwear i spose - was more for night-time escapades but there was no section in between street/day-wear and full-out evening gowns.. i wanted the skirt on the left to be mostly luella-like gold and black non-symmetrically-aligned ruffles..maybe made out of taffetta or something a little structured and firm so they would be kind of excessive and hold their shape easily. the top was just going to be a black leotard i think..~ something fitted and non-descript so that it wouldnt draw attention away from the bottom half.
the second dress was going to have a big silver/gold/something sillie and metallic-ly coloured whopper of a frill that travelled from the front of the waist up around the neck and back down to stop just below the wearer's collar bone.
i wanted some ott bow/bunnie ears on headpieces - probably just metallic also/black..a little like louis vuitton S/S09 did at the louvre !
sidenote1:i think every 'idea' of mine has referenced a really obvious copy of someone else..revolting.
and 2:embarrassed at the link content in this post ! hahah, sick of it yet ?


this was nuclear-cloud-shape inspired. i guess direct theft from chris kane. again i'm totally ripping off other people. thank god my career tangent isn't based around anything to do with fashion..this week.






i have so much more to write about and some of my favourite recent Selby pictures to post. so there's a large chance i'll post another blog tonight if i find nothing better to do.

her assignment paper had the scent of his first madonna album

there was a decorated general with a heart of gold, that likened him to all the stories he told
of past battles, won and lost, and legends of old; a seasoned veteran in his own time.
on the battlefield, he gained respectful fame with many medals of bravery and stripes to his name.
he grew a beard as soon as he could to cover the scars on his face, and always urged his men on.

but on the eve of a great battle with the infantry, in dream, the old general tossed in his sleep and wrestled with its meaning. he awoke from the night to tell what he had seen, and walked slowly out of his tent.
all the men held tall with their chests in the air, with courage in
their blood, and a fire in their stare. it was a grey morning and they all wondered how they would fare,
til the old general told them to go home.

He said, ‘I have seen the others, and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting. I have seen their mothers, and I will no other to follow me where I'm going.
So take a shower, shine your shoes. you’ve got no time to lose, you are young men you must be living.
go now, you are forgiven.’

but the men stood fast with their guns on their shoulders, not knowing what to do with the contradicting orders. the general said he would do his own duty, but would extend it no further; the men could go as they pleased.
not a man moved, their eyes gazed straight ahead; til one by one they stepped back, and not a word was said. the old general was left with his own words echoing in his head. he then prepared to fight.

He said, ‘I have seen the others, and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting. I have seen their mothers, and I will no other to follow me where I'm going.
So take a shower, shine your shoes. you’ve got no time to lose, you are young men you must be living.
go now, you are forgiven.’

this is a song about weapons of mass destruction and fridge magnets/the wonky factor

solar, lunar,
stigmata,
nasa


image via
a solargraph, or solargraphy, is a photograph that was taken using an exposure long enough to track the movement of the sun in the sky..therefore, exposure time can be anywhere from a couple hours to six months. a 6-month exposure will enable you to image six month's-worth of the 'sun's luminescent trails and its subtle change of course caused by the earth's movement in orbit..dotted lines of light are the result of overcast days when the sun struggled to penetrate the cloud.'

what is perhaps the most amazing thing about solargraphy is that the image is made using black and white photo paper..but the image that is created is in colour.
the paper is so overexposed that the image is visable without any processing needed - a pretty large attack of the woah, if you ask me.


well played, ruffles, well. goddamn. played.
'Think of a nice, polite, knee-length dress you might find a rather mature royal wearing to a garden party, add an ample amount of sickly sweet confectionary colour, then look at it through psychedelic tinted glasses, give it a matching handbag, shoe and hat and this season's character is born.
Pink, purple, lilac, orange all done to punk proportion. This is cute and proper to the point of subversion; from the pink velvet tatler bow right at the top of the rock Sloane quiff down to the paneled tweed and lace skirt suit, and to the multi-coloured heart fronted heel at the bottom.
On first glance everything is rather proper, with bow fronted blouses, pleated skirts and mini, structured queen mum bags but there's a strange, wonky undertone. Things aren't quite present and correct. - luella.

i dream of having an enrollment at: the whitehouse institute of design, accademia italiana (which whitehouse gives full scholarships to D: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), central saint martins. big hopes ? no way.

i really prefer the backs to lots of dresses and skirts, they seem more delicate and nice as ice.


Stigmata freaks the pants off me.
according to wiki, yehe,:'stigmata are bodily marks, sores, or sensations of pain in locations corresponding to the crucifixion wounds of Jesus.'
and it actually happens. in this century and everything.
unrelated people, around the world, have gotten these sores that never heal/just bleed and bleed and bleed forever..in their hands and feet on the same spots that jesus had crucifixion wounds. some also receive these unexplained and ongoing wounds in their head, like from the crown of thorns. incredible ? terrifying ? you pick.
the majority of reported cases have been in females, but obviously not all of them..
some people who have stigmata claim to feel the pain of the wounds, though show no external marks; these are referred to as invisible stigmata. in other claims and cases, stigmata are accompanied by extreme pain.
it is said that the wounds do not appear to clot, instead cotinually staying fresh/uninfected.

i'm not going to include any images in here, but run an image search in google for Giorgio Bongiovanni at your own will.


Karma Police, arrest this man..he talks in maths.
he buzzes like a fridge, hes like a detuned radio.
Karma Police, arrest this girl..her Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill,
& we have crashed her party.
for a minute there, i lost myself, i lost myself.

go away ricki-lee 'i'm proud of my curves' coulter

don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem baby girl, respect is just the minimum.
cos you said the brains i had went to my head.



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wow. i really don't like images of different sizes alongside each other ^. gross.



just found a cassette that i hadn't been aware of before, containing:
wonderwall, don't look back in anger, song 2, leaving home, freak, prisoner of society, into my arms, etcetccceteteeteeetc..

the start of it was a nice coincidental tribute to oasis, no ?

style.comnomnom

michael finch lended me his portfolios for both project runway and his general book of pretty impressively non-crap stuff for me to have a look at (to help with me considering the fashn course at qut..) the other day..was so so nice and exciting !
connections go a long long way with these sorts of things, yehe. the photos of his evening gowns and dresses were so gorgeous, and so much attention to detail. most were just black and white and had super ruffle attacks - all things i can't go v far past; at least not without looking back.
i'll post some images and say what i've been building up over the last few days/wks with after qcs and exams and stuff are over, so probably in the holidays, if not a little earlier..
in the meantime, here's some pretty things to ease your eyes if you've been QCSing also (or even if you haven't !)

god, lucky i wouldn't cry at all when i saw anything in person by chris kane.. :/

(arh i just looked back at this post and realised that some/most of the images have been kind of cut off on the RHS >, you've got to save them and have a look ! all worth it !):

S2009:




F2008:


F2009:



RESORT2010:



S2008:




S2007:


and also, here's some sonia rykiel amazeo action that i found in a blog about a week ago, doesn't it just make you want to desperately be right there/then ? looks like such a fun fairie partie, and i like how each of the models' hair is slightly different..these are seriously only my very very favourite picks of the bunch !:













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