i really miss saxophone.
i miss playing it, i miss listening to it, i miss playing on stage in the open section of the local Eisteddford - amongst the best of the best in the region..i was fifteen, sixteen, against any instrument of any age. there were adults. i think once or twice i placed within the top three.
the girls would wear gowns and heels; sometimes princess ball gowns. the boys were always in shined shoes and sometimes even suits with tails, but always a suit jacket or a button-up shirt in the least.
i miss the feeling of playing a piece well, and of being complimented for my hard work. i miss the satisfaction from practising (though i failed a little in terms of disciplining myself into practising the more technical aspects - scales and whatnot. i often got a little lazy.)
i miss finally, after weeks or often after months, of somewhat mastering a song. when i found that i could do Vibrato - it was a great day.
..in fact actually, that isn't entirely true. i cant pin it down to one particular day..i remember it being a progressive and natural thing, i think. i never remember going out of my way to try and perfect the technique, but i knew from listening to music - and from listening to singers even - that it was a natural expressive element of music. i could tell when it slotted in to songs, when it sounded right. there are rarely songs that tell you 'USE IT HERE IT WILL SOUND GOOD.' i enjoy that about music - you can play a song technically correct and still have so much room to play it with expression at your own will.
in the jazz band at school especially, i found that i would accidentally put it in when it just felt ‘right’ before i had even realised that i was doing so.
in the high school concert band in about Year 11 i was chosen to stand up and play a minute-or-two-in-length solo section at the beginning of a song where everyone else was seated and silent. as a fairly reserved and non-spotlight-appreciating person in general, i surprisingly never felt nerves in playing that section. we would sometimes play this song in front of hundreds of people..but it seemed to feel natural and fun for me. i would toy around with timing and dynamics; it was very open to interpretation. i am trying my best not to sound arrogant in this passage.
the same goes for Awards Night at school. as a student council member in Year 12, i had a major speaking part for a quarter of the evening. this involved scripted presentations of individual students' Academic, Cultural and Sporting achievements while the winners accepted their awards on stage. it also included general introductions for acts and speakers, and thankyous toward the end. for events like this on stage; things of which i am proud to present publicly – the creation of my own music, making speeches that i have written or felt comfortable in reading in front of people (although NOT acting, never am i consensual when drama or acting is involved – the compulsory drama rubbish in English and other subjects at school made me so angry..often to the point where i would be helplessly and breathless crying tears of frustration.. after all..a3iwoejsdiflskdf..if i would have LIKED to have participated in dramatic activities, then i would have signed up to the subject of DRAMA, no?! Jesus CHRIST.)
but back to speaking in public and / or playing music or dancing or modelling on stage or any solo act that involves an art form of expressive media of my own, that i am proud of - i will rarely have nerves or a lack of want to be on stage.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that music was one of the most beautiful things that i have felt i have ever produced – it was something of my own. ..something that i had worked for over a period of a little under ten years..(over ten years for piano – but i didn’t enjoy piano as much; it was not an instrument that i chose to play out of my own choice, although i did enjoy it up until the last few years of tuition and performances. ..but it was an instrument that i started to learn because that was something that other people in my family had done since they were younger. i am glad that i learn it, but saxophone i was more proud of and passionate about.)
i just really hope that next year there will be a casual jazz group that i can join.
i guess i feel like its one thing that i really could do well in.
the following videos are obviously not of me. i doubt anyone will watch them, but they are two of my favourite songs toward the end of my saxophone career circa 2007..
page one:
page one:
i miss playing it, i miss listening to it, i miss playing on stage in the open section of the local Eisteddford - amongst the best of the best in the region..i was fifteen, sixteen, against any instrument of any age. there were adults. i think once or twice i placed within the top three.
the girls would wear gowns and heels; sometimes princess ball gowns. the boys were always in shined shoes and sometimes even suits with tails, but always a suit jacket or a button-up shirt in the least.
i miss the feeling of playing a piece well, and of being complimented for my hard work. i miss the satisfaction from practising (though i failed a little in terms of disciplining myself into practising the more technical aspects - scales and whatnot. i often got a little lazy.)
i miss finally, after weeks or often after months, of somewhat mastering a song. when i found that i could do Vibrato - it was a great day.
..in fact actually, that isn't entirely true. i cant pin it down to one particular day..i remember it being a progressive and natural thing, i think. i never remember going out of my way to try and perfect the technique, but i knew from listening to music - and from listening to singers even - that it was a natural expressive element of music. i could tell when it slotted in to songs, when it sounded right. there are rarely songs that tell you 'USE IT HERE IT WILL SOUND GOOD.' i enjoy that about music - you can play a song technically correct and still have so much room to play it with expression at your own will.
in the jazz band at school especially, i found that i would accidentally put it in when it just felt ‘right’ before i had even realised that i was doing so.
in the high school concert band in about Year 11 i was chosen to stand up and play a minute-or-two-in-length solo section at the beginning of a song where everyone else was seated and silent. as a fairly reserved and non-spotlight-appreciating person in general, i surprisingly never felt nerves in playing that section. we would sometimes play this song in front of hundreds of people..but it seemed to feel natural and fun for me. i would toy around with timing and dynamics; it was very open to interpretation. i am trying my best not to sound arrogant in this passage.
the same goes for Awards Night at school. as a student council member in Year 12, i had a major speaking part for a quarter of the evening. this involved scripted presentations of individual students' Academic, Cultural and Sporting achievements while the winners accepted their awards on stage. it also included general introductions for acts and speakers, and thankyous toward the end. for events like this on stage; things of which i am proud to present publicly – the creation of my own music, making speeches that i have written or felt comfortable in reading in front of people (although NOT acting, never am i consensual when drama or acting is involved – the compulsory drama rubbish in English and other subjects at school made me so angry..often to the point where i would be helplessly and breathless crying tears of frustration.. after all..a3iwoejsdiflskdf..if i would have LIKED to have participated in dramatic activities, then i would have signed up to the subject of DRAMA, no?! Jesus CHRIST.)
but back to speaking in public and / or playing music or dancing or modelling on stage or any solo act that involves an art form of expressive media of my own, that i am proud of - i will rarely have nerves or a lack of want to be on stage.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that music was one of the most beautiful things that i have felt i have ever produced – it was something of my own. ..something that i had worked for over a period of a little under ten years..(over ten years for piano – but i didn’t enjoy piano as much; it was not an instrument that i chose to play out of my own choice, although i did enjoy it up until the last few years of tuition and performances. ..but it was an instrument that i started to learn because that was something that other people in my family had done since they were younger. i am glad that i learn it, but saxophone i was more proud of and passionate about.)
i just really hope that next year there will be a casual jazz group that i can join.
i guess i feel like its one thing that i really could do well in.
the following videos are obviously not of me. i doubt anyone will watch them, but they are two of my favourite songs toward the end of my saxophone career circa 2007..
page one:
page one:
at awards night i remember you described something as 'hauntingly beautiful', and it was.
ReplyDeleteAND
i have the exact same opinion about drama in english. i did question my teacher.. probably a bit too rudely.. and was shot down in flames because it's 'PART OF THE CURRICULUM!'
i believe it is not.